The Millennium Wolves Series by Sapir Englard Chapter 42

The Millennium Wolves Series Book Three Chapter: 12

Sienna 

The encounter in the council chamber helped Aiden and me reset our communication. After his parents packed up and left town, we spent the following week rekindling the passion that we had before all the festival drama.

We let our Hazes run wild, making love everywhere we could. It truly felt like I had my mate back,

One thing was for sure, we couldn’t use sex to solve arguments.

Not just because we were both crazy for each other but it didn’t work. It just made Aiden and me resent each other,

The whole experience with the festival and Aiden’s parents had really forced me to grow up.

Moving forward, if we had a difference of

opinion, consensus had to come from genuine understanding and change of heart. Not spiteful threats.

Aiden had taken off early, but I chose to sleep in. My body was still sore from the previous night’s activities.

I’d started to drift off again when the sound of my phone shocked me awake.

Aiden Rise and shine, sleepy head

Sienna You didn’t kiss me when you left

Sienna Rudes

Aiden You were so peaceful

Aiden Plus I know what you’re like when you first wake up

Aiden

Sienna

Hey!

Sienna Don’t make me reinstate the embargo

Aiden You wouldn’t dare

Sienna Try me

Aiden Yeah? I’ll happily have a taste u

Sienna Not what I meant, nerd lol

Sienna imeant, nerd lol

Aiden Get over here, pretty lady

Sienna Good things come to those who wait…

Sicon himos come to those who wait

Aiden

Sienna

Aiden’s texts had put me in the mood to get a morning dose of the Haze. There was definitely no

going back to sleep now.

He was going to get it. I’d make sure of that.

I slid out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I glanced at the digital clock on the shelf. It was almost ten thirty

8:00 AM |1.0KB/S OM

You need to go to bed early tonight, girl. 

I spit out my toothpaste and was wiping off my mouth when I looked at the clock again and horror gripped me.

The date. Was that right? It couldn’t be. I went into the bedroom and grabbed my phone. The same date flashed across my lockscreen,

My stomach churned, and a wave of panic came over me.

My period was late.

Sienna I need to ask a favor

Sied to ask a favor

Jocelyn Sure, what is it?

Sienna Can we do this in person?

Jocelyn I’m free after 2

Jocelyn Want to swing by?

Sienna

Sien

Yeah

Sienna You’ll be at your office?

Jocelyn Sienna, I can come right now if you need me

Sienna

No, don’t worry

Sienna Not an emergency

Sienna Just kinda personal, that’s all

Jocelyn Okay, if you say so

Jocelyn See you at 2 then! xo

That was the true beauty of Jocelyn. She could look through everyone’s exterior and focus on what they were experiencing on the inside.

Right now, as I stood outside the door to her office, I needed her services twofold. I had a lot on my mind that I needed to unpack, and also I

needed her to see if a little something had hitched

a ride inside me.

The door opened, and the soothing smell of incense and jasmine flowed into my nostrils.

The anxiety that had gripped me all morning began to dissipate as Jocelyn took both my hands in hers and looked at me with her smoky hazel eyes, searching for what might be troubling me.

What brings you to me, goddess?” she asked, ushering me inside. “Your texts had me worried.”

I made sure the door was closed before I told her the reason for my visit.

“I missed my period, Jocelyn.”

“By how many days? The Haze can throw off cycles sometimes.”

“I’m six days late.”

Jocelyn was quiet for a moment then invited me to take a seat on the couch. “I’m guessing you and Aiden have had sex recently.”

I gave her a look as if to say, no shit, girlfriend. “Hey, I have to ask these questions,” she replied, grinning. “I’m happy to hear the two of you were able to patch things up.”

“I am too. I mean I’m grateful that Aiden’s managed to come around this far on the whole

family issue, but I can tell it’s hard for him. He still has to fight the urge to push me sometimes.

“I actually kind of feel like there is more pressure now because he is so understanding. I want to give him what he wants, but there is still all that junk about my birth parents getting in the way.”

“Sure,” answered Jocelyn, “you aren’t the first she-wolf who has come to me feeling pressured to start a family. The mating bond is a beautiful thing, and when it first happens, both partners ride this incredible high.”

“And then?”

“And then couples can sometimes disagree about how to keep that high going. One may want to take a few years to adjust to being mated before starting a family while the other sees kids as a wonderful new adventure.

“And in some cases, one of them could not want pups at all. What I’m trying to say is, they both want what’s best for the relationship, but they might not agree on what that is.”

“I want to start a family with Aiden, Jocelyn. I really do. He’ll get what he wants. I just feel guilty now taking my time.”

“You shouldn’t. Aiden isn’t trying to trick you.”

“I know.” I said, feeling stupid that I had even suggested that was the case.

“So, what about your birth parents do you want to know? If they really are the only obstacle holding you back, what would give you the peace of mind you’re looking for?”

I had thought about Jocelyn’s question a thousand times over the past week. There was so much I wanted to know about them, but it all came down to one question.

“I want to know why they did it. Jocelyn. I need to know why they abandoned me in that carriage.”

“And why is that the most important question for you?”

“Look at Aiden’s parents and how they walked out on him. Look at how messed up that left him emotionally, and look at me. I can’t even feel comfortable having kids because of my issues. If I don’t find out why they gave me up. I’m afraid I might find myself in the same position.”

“Sienna, you’re not going to abandon your child.” replied Jocelyn, resting her hand on my knee. “At the same time, I’m not going to lie to you. Being a parent comes with uncertainty.

**It’s like every other decision you make in life.” The outcome can never be guaranteed. So, if that’s what you’re waiting for, I don’t think you’ll ever feel ready to start a family.”

Could that be it? Was I using my parents as an excuse?

Even if I was, I couldn’t help the fact that the idea of having a child didn’t feel right to me. Not right now, at least

“Do you think I’m ready?” I asked, catching Jocelyn’s gaze.

“You’re the only one who can answer that question, Sienna.

“But you know me, Jocelyn. What if I’m pregnant? I need to know that I’m ready.”

“It’s okay if you’re not,” she said reassuringly.

“Is it? What if my mother wasn’t ready? What if that’s why she abandoned me?”

Suddenly, the idea of having a child growing inside me became terrifying. What if this was how my mother became pregnant with me? Would I keep it? What would I tell Aiden?

Things had just started getting good again.

This was all wrong.

It felt wrong.

I was supposed to be overjoyed that I might be pregnant. But why was I feeling terror instead?

This wasn’t normal. Why couldn’t I just feel happy like I was supposed to?

I started to hyperventilate.

“Easy. Sienna.” Jocelyn said, rubbing my back, “Breathe slowly through your mouth. Breate deep into your belly.”

“I’m not ready. Jocelyn, I’m not. I’m going to have this baby, and I’m not ready.”

“You don’t have to have it if you don’t want to Sienna.”

“What do you mean? I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice. It’s your body.”

Was she saying what I thought she was? I looked into her eyes to be sure.

“Like I said, you’re not the first she-wolf who has come to me not wanting to start a family.”

I gripped Jocelyn’s hand. I was ready for her to tell me what I had already convinced myself was true. “Tell me if I’m pregnant, Jocelyn.”

“All right, lie down on the couch,” she replied, placing a pillow behind my head. You need to keep still

I watched as Jocelyn lifted up my shirt and placed her hands just below my navel, Her hands felt smooth and sterile against my skin. I flinched, not used to being touched so clinically.

Try not to move,” she repeated, deep in concentration

I felt the area under her hands go numb. Soon after, an uncomfortable warmth radiated from between my hips.

I stared up at the ceiling, waiting for her to say the words that I dreaded but knew were coming

I lay there for what felt like an eternity, my mind racing through all the ways my life was about to change.

I hated the Haze. I hated what it had done to me, how weak I had been.

The next thing I knew, Jocelyn was rolling down my shirt.

“Try not to move,” she repeated, deep in concentration

I felt the area under her hands go numb. Soon after, an uncomfortable warmth radiated from between my hips.

I stared up at the ceiling, waiting for her to say the words that I dreaded but knew were coming.

I lay there for what felt like an eternity, my mind racing through all the ways my life was about to change.

I hated the Haze. I hated what it had done to me, how weak I had been

The next thing I knew, Jocelyn was rolling down my shirt.

She looked at me and grabbed my hand, her eyes full of emotion.