Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 113
I stayed in my room, I heard my father pledge to Ezra and felt the pack link snap into place through the bond. I couldn’t face him, I could barely look at him. Ezra I could tell was angry at me for going against him and I knew he would be saying something to me, giving me more reason to hide away from everyone. I directly went against what he told my father and I could tell he was holding back from having a go at me, trying to calm himself down. I felt guilty, but he is my father and I understand his need for revenge, his need to make Jackson pay.
I was worried about going to war with Jackson, worried for Mateo. I couldn’t imagine me picking anyone over him which is why the moon goddess vision made no sense to me. What could possibly be worth sacrificing a mate for? Hearing a knock on the door before it pushed open, making me look toward the door. Relief flooding me when Mateo steps in and not Ezra.
“On a scale of one to ten, how mad is he?” I ask Mateo.
Mateo says with a shrug.
“I should have kept my mouth shut”I tell him and he comes over sitting next to me on the bed.
“He is just seeing them go, Andrei said he will be back tomorrow. Same as your father” I sigh great, now I will have to see him again.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but maybe speak with your father Kat, you only get one”
“He lied, and cheated my mother out of her mate and abandoned his son” I tell him. Mateo nods before gripping my knee.
“There is two sides to every story, your mother did some terrible things Kat and you forgave her, I just don’t want you spending so much time hating him that you forget to love him too, nothing worse than waking up one day and they are gone and realising that you spent so much time hating them, and the only person you hurt was yourself”
“You want me to just forgive him?” I ask him and he shrugs.
“That’s up to you, but you don’t have to forgive him for what he did, forgive for yourself, that’s why it is called forgiveness, only you can give it when you have been wronged, only you choose who you forgive nobody can make you forgive them, you choose that when you realise you have no time for hate, no time to stress over what you can’t change, forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what they did, it allows you to move on though freeing you from the hate of what they did” I think over his words before looking at him. Wondering who he hated but never forgave then regretted it.
“You wanna know who, don’t you? I am an open book Kat, I don’t mind you being in my head, I am not ashamed of anything in my past” He says and I nod.
but if you don’t feel like snooping I can just tell you?”
“Then who do you regret not forgiving?” I ask him.
“My biological mother, Andrea, was my real mother. She raised me, but my mum was cold, distant, not a motherly bone in her body. No maternal instinct”
“Then why do you regret not forgiving her?”
“Because when she died, I didn’t even cry, didn’t shed one tear for her, she was never cruel or hurt me, it was just like I didn’t exist. It wasn’t until I got older and Andrea told me more about her, She had me when she was 16, though that is not an excuse, there are some wonderful young mothers, but after speaking to Andrea and learning about my mother’s past, her parents were the same, but I had a loving father, both her parents hated her, were cruel to her, I got a medical chart once of hers and my mother was abused from when she was baby, so many medical reports stating abuse, so it made sense that she didn’t know how to love me when she was never showed love herself by her parents, she was blamed for her parents divorce which is obviously unheard of with mates. Andrea told me my mother was the same, she thought I would come between her and my father. Genetic upbringing I call it, she turned out exactly like her parents, hated her child because that was all she was shown, doesn’t make up for what she did, but made it
easier to understand why she was like that and once I realised I felt guilty for blaming her” I sigh, I still didn’t agree with his mother treating him like that but he forgave her.
“Your parents were good to you Kat, until all this went down. Your father cherished you, you don’ t have to agree with the things he has done, but maybe you could understand his reason for doing them” Mateo says.
“ I am not asking you to forgive him Kat, that is your decision just make sure you aren’t hurting yourself by thinking you are punishing him when really you might be punishing yourself” Mateo says before standing.
“Where are you going?” I ask him.
“Ezra is back” He says and I hear the back door open and close.
“Argh, great” Mateo chuckles.
“I am not afraid to say I am” I tell him before hearing Ezra walking up the steps, I duck in the walk-in hiding amongst the clothes.
Ezra walking in, his scent wafting through the room and I could see Mateo standing in the doorway of the walk-in leaning on the door frame.
“Is she hiding from me?” Ezra asks Mateo who laughs.
“Not very well either I can see her feet” Mateo says before the clothes are ripped apart, Ezra looking down at me.
“Any reason you are hiding in the closet?” He asks, arching an eyebrow at me.
“Maybe she has finally decided to come out of it, ” Mateo says behind him. I glare at him while Ezra smiles. “No Mateo I am not coming out of the closet, and I was hiding from you” I tell Ezra.
“I can see that, but why?”
“Because you are mad at me for going against you” I tell him. He pressed his lips in a line and he was still pissed off.
“That doesn’t mean you hide from me, ” he says, gripping the front of my shirt and jerking me toward him. His hand goes to the back of my neck before he tilts my face up toward his, his lips crashing against mine as he kisses me before pulling away.
“Don’t hide from me, if you are going to go against me at least have the guts to face me afterwards, I would never intentionally hurt you Kat, don’t fear my reaction, I may be mad but never enough for you to fear me,” He says.
“ So you’ re not mad then?” I ask knowing he was.
“No, I am. But he is your father, just also know though Kat, if he gives me reason to, I will banish him or kill him, as long as you understand that, we are good” He says and I nod.
“Come on, we should go have dinner, Andrei will be by in the morning and I want to head to bed early tonight” Ezra says, pulling me out of the closet and toward the bedroom door.
“K!ss and makeup? Good because I am starving” Mateo says from where he is sitting on the bed, he stands up following after us.
Andrei arrived early the next morning. I run down the stairs and open the door for him, Ezra coming down the stairs behind me.
“Hey sorry I was supposed to be here an hour ago, mum took a turn” He says stepping inside.
“Is she okay?” I ask him.
“No, she is dying, now where do you want to do this?” He says, holding up a larger than normal specimen cup with some latex over the top.
“Maybe I can heal” Andrei shakes his head.
“People die Kat, besides you would only be prolonging her death. Parents die eventually, that’s how it is supposed to be” He says.
“I said no Kat, no point you getting sick just so she can live a few extra months” He says walking into the kitchen. Ezra was watching me and I could tell he didn’t agree with me healing anybody. I follow Andrei and he sits at the table before handing me the cup.
“So I just bite it?” I tell him.
“I think so but I am not sure” He says. I let my canines lengthen before biting into the cup, my teeth breaking through the latex. I felt like an idiot.
“Damn” Andrei says and I pull my teeth out of it to find nothing in the cup.
“And nothing” I tell him and he sighs.
“I was worried that would happen, which means you can only use your venom when under duress, or strong emotion and I am not going to tick you off just to get it” He says.
“Why is it so important you get it anyway?” I ask, wondering if he would tell me now it didn’t work. He just stares at me.
“No harm in telling me now, it didn’t work” I tell
him and he rubs a hand down his face.
“To make them pay for what they did to Anthony” He says.
“Jackson?” I ask him.
“His Pack” Andrei answers and Ezra sits down. Mateo also comes into the dining room now fully dressed.
“How would my venom affect the pack?”
“I was going to put it in the town’s water supply” He says and I am taken aback by his words.
“You wanted to k!ll the entire pack?” I ask him.
“I am not a good person Kat, but yes. After what they did they deserved death”
“What did they do?” l ask needing to know what warranted death of an entire pack.
“Doesn’t matter but what they did was wrong, Anthony is lucky to be alive not that he wanted to live afterwards, I thought at first it was your fathers way of punishing him, making him live with it. But now I think he saved him out of guilt” Andrei says.
“Guilt, didn’t he just make my mother reject him?”
“Yes, but Jackson took it further. It would be one thing to be rejected and banished. What they did afterwards there was no reason for it, he would have left. Him being fated to your mother didn’t just cost him the bond, it cost him everything and it cost your father his mate when she found out. I believe that is why he stepped in and saved him, tried earning her forgiveness, but nothing would ever make her forgive him after what he made her do, then finding out what they did afterwards, I couldn’t imagine the guilt she felt” Andrei tells me.
“It’s okay, I will just have to figure something else out, I should go. I need to get back to my mother” He says standing up.
“You sure, I can” Andrei shakes his head. Ezra dropping his hand on my shoulder.
Andrei nods to him before looking down at me. “No, I mean it, she can’t be saved, not everyone can be saved Kat” He says, making me think back to the moon goddess’ words. Choose wisely not everyone can be saved, not everyone deserves to be. I look at Mateo who furrows his brows and I feel Ezra stare at me. I know they felt fear run through me, there was no hiding it that time when he said those words.
Andrei leaves and I wave him goodbye before shutting the door and turning to find Ezra staring at me, Mateo behind him. “You are hiding something?” Ezra says.
“I’m not hiding anything, just worried about something”
“Worried about what?” Mateo says and I feel my heart palpitate just looking at him, I couldn’t lose them.
“The Moon goddess showed me a future, said not everyone could be saved and that I need to choose wisely because some don’t deserve to be”
“Makes sense, but why does that scare you?” Ezra asks.
“Because the future she showed me, I chose wrong and it cost Mateo his life and made you hate me” I tell him. Ezra growls.
“You have been keeping this from us?” He asks.
“No, I just didn’t know how to tell you. I would never choose anyone over either of you, I would never choose between you either”
“So who did you save that cost him his life?” Ezra demands to know.
“I don’t know, she never showed me that, just showed me our twins, a boy and a girl, you but” I look at Mateo. “You weren’t there, but you had a son, and you had a daughter. I chose wrong but I won’t make that mistake I know now, that’s why she showed me, to make sure I chose right”
“How can you say that when you don’t know who you are choosing between” Ezra asks.
“Because I would never choose anyone over either of you”
“What if it became choosing between us, I swear Kat if you choose me I would hate you” Ezra says.
“You think I would be any different Ezra” Mateo says glaring at him.
“You are not dying for me” Mateo yells at him.
“Neither of you are dying, ok. This is why I never said anything, I know I will make the right choice, neither of you are going anywhere” I tell them, needing them to calm down.
“What? I am not letting him die for me Kat” Mateo says and Ezra growls at him.
“That’s the beauty of being a gemini wolf, only I choose who I let live and die”
“And if it becomes choosing between us, then what Kat. I won’t forgive you if you choose to save me”
“I wouldn’t choose, ” I tell them.
“But you would have to,” Ezra says and I shake my head.
“No, because if it came down to choosing between the pair of you I would sacrifice myself just like Marabella did for her son” I tell them before shoving between them and heading upstairs. I ignore them when they start yelling at me, not agreeing. They were outraged at the thought, one thing they both agreed on but they didn’t realise the choice isn’t theirs to make, it is mine and I will choose death then lose them. I never should have told them, but either way they were going to find out when I am forced to choose, because both of them will live even if it costs me my life.